Saturday Night Main Event
01/21/01

The scene opens and Josh Dillingham along with Miguel Verdu and his trusty side kick Senor Jr. Jr. who are ready to announce for tonights matches.  Let's go ringside and watch.

Dillingham:  Hello and welcome everybody, I'm Josh Dillingham...

Verdu:  And yes... Dillingham is his real name.

Dillingham:  Why'd you say that?

Verdu:  Well, alot of people think it's a gimmick.

Dillingham:  Why?

Verdu:  Because you're so fat and the last part in your name is ham.

Senor Jr. Jr.:  Bark!  Bark!

Verdu:  That's right, Senor Jr. Jr.

Dillingham:  What did he just say?

Verdu:  What, you didn't understand it?

Dillingham:  No, I'm Chiuaua deficient.

Verdu:  Well, he said that you were tubby!

Dillingham:  Hey, at least I don't talk to dogs.

Verdu:  You're jealous aren't you?

Verdu:  You are!

Dillingham:  Shut up.  Let's go to our first match.
 

Robbie"Razor"Daniels vs. Zeke McGuire

Before the match starts, the Regional Champion James "Python" Hardy walks down to the ring.  The fans don't truly know what is going on.  He grabs a headset, and sits down by Verdu. Dillingham: So what do we owe the honor? Hardy: Shut your yap fatty Verdu:*Laughing* Damn that was funny Hardy: I'm just here to make sure Daniels doesn't pull anything off tonight.  If worst comest to worst, I'll have to take care of some business. Both men get in the ring, and the match starts.  Daniels takes complete controll of the match, and this pisses off Hardy. Hardy: This is crap, I should make it interesting, but I have better things to do right now. Dillingham: And that is? Hardy: Making fun of your dumbass Verdu continues to laugh as Daniels hits McGuire with a suplex, followed with an elbow drop.  He thepicks him up, and lands a piledriver on the canvas.  He quickly goes for the pin.  Hardy drops the headset, grabs a chair and gets in the ring.  The ref has a two count and Hardy attacks Daniels with a boot to the back.  Daniels gets up just in time to recieve a devastating chair shot to the head.  The ref disqualifies McGuire, giving Daniels the win.  Hardy continues to beat on Daniels until security and refs come down to break it up.

Winner: Daniels via DQ

Marcia:  Hello and welcome back everybody, I'm Marcia Tranthum here with Josh Dillingham and Miguel Verdu.  So, what do you think about the main event tonight, Dillingham?

Dillingham(ASIDE):  Sweet mother of God, she's talking to me.  She wants to know my opinion.  What should I say?  I can't make myself look stupid... oh man.... the price you pay for being a mac daddy....

Marcia:  Hello?  Josh, are you gonna comment or just stare blankly at me?

Dillingham:  Oh, well, Marcia(Winks)  Tonight's main even has even made me a Godfather Old fan.  I mean you just cant walk into this fed and claim to be a contender like Coke did.

Marcia:  Well, I agree.

Dillingham:  You do?

Verdu:  Easy, Tubster... don't bust a nut just yet.

Marcia:  *Rolls her eyes*  Anywho, tonights main event should prove to be a great one as Coke, Gold, and Kyle "The Natural" Pope all face off.

Dillingham(ASIDE):  Man, she's so hot!  Oh man, she just looked at me.... wait.... I think she asked me a question....

Marcia:  Well?  Yes or no?

Dillingham(ASIDE):  Yes or no?  I'll bet she asked me out?

Dillingham:  Yes, of course.

Marcia:  What?

Verdu:  What kind of drugs are you on, Tub-O-Lard?

Dillingham:  What are you talking about?

Marcia:  I asked if you thought that Ryan Coke was Electrifying....

Dillingham(ASIDE):  DOH!

Dillingham:  Oh, I thought you asked if I thought Coke.. like Coca Cola was Electrifying... yeah, that's the ticket!

Marcia:  Riiiiight...

Verdu:  Anyway's, the next match is about to start... isn't that right Senor Jr. Jr?

Senor Jr. Jr.:  Bark, Bark,  Bark, yep, Yipe, Yelp!

Verdu:  Shhhhhh, Senor... not on TV.  Kids are watching!

Dillingham:  What'd he say?

Verdu:  Like I'd repeat that!

Marcia:  Yeah, nice try Dillingham!

Dillingham:  You understood him too?

Marcia:  What's not to understand.... he said...

Dillingham:  Oh....
 

Handicap Match James Hardy vs. Dusty Storm/Ace

James "Python" Hardy enters the ring to '100 Mile High City' by Ocean Colour Scene, the crowd cheer him as he climbs in to the ring.  Ace and Dusty Storm come down to the ring as their music plays. They get no reaction from the crowd who are still cheering Hardy as he flexes on the turnbucles. The bell rings and the action gets under way.  Hardy makes a good start, knocking Dusty Storm to the ground with a roundhouse kick. Ace runs at Hardy with a clothesline but it is ducked. Ace goes in to the rope and Hardy knocks him over. He goes for the pin on Dusty Storm who is still out cold. 1...2...kick out. Ace gets back in to the ring and wips Hardy in to the ropes. Hardy falls to a double team clothesline by Dusty Storm and ace. Dusty holds Hardy's legs while Ace holds his shoulders down. The ref counts 1...2...some how Hardy has managed to get a shoulder up and the count is stopped. Ace starts laying in to Hardy while he is on the floor, punching him in the face. Hardy is taking the punches with no problem. He grabs storm by the neck and stands up. He chokeslams Ace in to the mat and then goes for Storm. Hardy knocks him to the ground with another roundhouse kick. He picks him back up and whips him in to the turnbuckle. He then whips Ace in to the same turnbuckle. He dropkicks the two men in the turnbuckle and they fall to the floor. Hardy picks up Ace and powerbombs him in to Storm. Storm and Ace are both on top of each other, Hardy climbs the turnbuckle and executed a flying leg drop on to the pair. Storm and Ace are now out cold. Hardy rolls Storm off Ace and climbs the turnbuckle again. He signals for "The Snake Bite" and executes a perfect corkscrew moonsault on to him. Hardy puts a hand on both men, the referee counts...1...2...3. Hardy is declared the winner of the match.

Winner: James Hardy via The Snake Bite

Non Title Match Tommy Churchill vs. Johnny Wreck

The bell rings and Johnny Wreck gets straight to work on Tommy Churchill by hitting him with a spear, Churchill gets back up and delivers a vicious clothesline to Wreck, he almost took his head off. The two lock horns again but Churchill is to overpowering to Johnny Wreck and literally just throws him out the ring, the referee starts the ten count but Wreck gets back in by 4 and once again a clothesline by Churchill, Churchill now just kicking Wreck in the ribs and heads for the turnbuckles, he climbs up but Wreck takes him from behind and delivers a superplex, both men are down but by the count of 6 Wreck gets up and locks Churchill into a sharpshooter, Churchill has a face full of agony but manages to get to the ropes. Wreck lets go and executes a fantastic Spinning back drop onto Churchill, he goes for the pin 1…2…Kick out! Tommy gets back up and ducks Wrecks clothesline, he picks Wreck up and slams him to the mat, he climbs the turnbuckle and lands a fist onto Wreck, and goes for the pin 1…2… he got an elbow up! Now Tommy has signalled to the crowd ”THAT’S IT” he waiting by the ropes, Wreck gets up, and OH MY! Churchill hits the British Bulldog onto Wreck and covers him 1…2… Kick out! Churchill can’t believe it and in his anger pushes the referee over the ropes, Wreck’s got up, Churchill goes to hit Wreck but Wreck reverses it and flips Churchill over his shoulder and goes for the pin, but there’s no referee, oh hang on a minute, Slash is running down with a referee shirt on and slides in the ring but doesn’t count, Tommy gets back up and Wreck delivers a dropkick to his jaw but as he lands Slash starts beating on him and Tommy Churchill joins in and this is more like a handicap match, but hang on here is Jason Violence and he pulls Slash out of the ring and hits him with a lead pipe and oh no he’s just thrown in Churchill’s belt and Johnny Wreck lays Churchill out with it, he throws it back out and Jason is beating on Slash on the ramp, the referee is back in and Wreck doesn’t want to make the pin yet, instead he hits the Tomakazi and then delivers the Bloody Wreck to Churchill and pins him 1…2…3! Wreck has his hand raised by the referee and the crowd are chanting “UWA, UWA, UWA”. Wreck walks up the ramp while Churchill lays in the ring all most unconscious.

Verdu:  Hi and we're back with Tod and Tim Brigman.  Tod, since in my mind you clearly won that match last PPV, what do you plan to do with your show?

Tod:  Eh, eh... eh... Uh... eh....

Dillingham:  Hey, weren't you a chipmunk?

Tod:  Eh!  Weren't you the eh... eh... Stay Puff... eh eh Marshmellow.... eh eh ... man?

*Tim Brigman stands up*

Tim:  Uh *30 Seconds later*  Shut up, Dink!  Dillingham is cool!

Tod:  Ya want some of  eh... eh.. eh-eh?

Tim: Bring it!

Dillingham:  Where'd everybody go?

Carter: I told you guys that I would never fight you in a hardcore title match.  It used to be that I thought you didn't deserve it, now I see it as I'm too good to fight you two jackasses.  So tonight, I've decided that I will get rid of this shameful belt and move up the ranks.  I thought about going to the regional title, but I'd win it with ease.  So Stealth has decided he would be best suited to go up and fight for the NA title.  You know I deserve it.  Churchill, I'm comin for you, don't be afraid, I could care less of you, I just want the gold.

Hardcore Title Match Jake Jackson vs. Slash

The ref calls for the bell and the match gets underway. Both men grab steel chairs from the ‘pile’ in the middle of the ring. Slash dares Jackson to hit him over the head with the chair; Jackson does so but Slash doesn’t go down, he stays on his feet.  Now Jake dares Slash to return the favor, so Slash smacks Jackson ‘upside the head’ with the chair, and Jackson too stays vertical.  Slash hits Jake again with the chair, and again, yet Jackson stays on his feet.  Jake then hits Slash again with the chair, and then Slash hits Jake, then Jake hits Slash; finally they both hit each other at the same time, and after a momentary pause, they both fall onto their asses. Both men use their chairs to get up.  Once they’re up, Slash takes a swing at Jackson with the chair but Jackson ducks and hits Slash in the back of the head with the chair, knocking Slash’s chair out of his hands.  Jake smashes Slash in the midsection with his chair, sets up the chair on the mat and drop toe holds Slash face first into the chair. Jake then applies a camel clutch to Slash, hoping to exact a submission; Slash doesn’t give it up though, so Jake relinquishes the hold. Jackson goes over to the pile of hardcore implements and grabs two serving trays.  As Slash gets to his knees, Jake takes a serving tray in each hand and violently sandwiches Slash’s head between them.  Jake then drops the serving trays, one on top of the other, in the middle of the ring and DDTs Slash onto them.  Jake then grabs the trashcan, but as he tries to hit Slash with it, Slash cuts him off with a low blow and then a European uppercut. Slash takes the trashcan, and after denting it on Jackson’s head, he props it up between the second and third turnbuckles in the corner of the ring.  Slash goes back to Jake and tries to whip him into the trashcan, but Jake reverses, cutting Slash down with a back elbow. Slash is up quickly though and the two tie up.  Jake gets the advantage and backs Slash into the corner with the barbed wire; the ref calls for a clean break and surprisingly, he gets one from Jake.  As Jackson backs away though, Slash grabs the barbed wire and rakes it across his face. Slash does it again, and this time, opens up a deep cut on Jake’s face. Slash takes a Singapore cane from the pile of weapons and viciously canes Jake; opening the cut up further.  Slash discards the Singapore cane and puts a dragon sleeper on Jake.  Slash applies more pressure and blood squirts out of Jake’s head like water out of a water fountain.  As blood fills Jake’s eyes, he gets he gets a sudden rush of adrenaline, and is able to bridge up out of the move and hold Slash on his shoulder.  Jake then drops down and delivers a fire thunder driver (Greetings from Asbury Park/Rikishi Driver) to Slash. Jake wipes the blood from his face and picks Slash up again, this time body slamming him onto a road sign.  Jackson then goes over to the barbed wire and wraps it around his fist.  He then grabs Slash’s face and smashes the barbed wire into it, busting Slash open.  Jackson drops the barbed wire and picks up a computer keyboard.  He smashes the keyboard over Slash’s head, sending keys flying all over the ring. Jake helps Slash to his feet and lifts him up for a suplex.  He’s going for the ‘Jackson Drop’, but Slash is able to slide down Jake’s back and land on his feet, where he quickly locks on the ‘Throat Slasher’. Jackson looks to be passing out, but suddenly Slash suplexes Jake over his head, dropping him right on his neck (Tazmissionplex).  Jake appears to be dead; he’s not moving. Slash takes the barbed wire and wraps it around his midsection; he then ascends the turnbuckles and notions to the crowd that “it’s over!”. Slash turns around to face the crowd, and then executes a rather sloppy (Bam Bam style) but undeniably insane (because of the barbed wire) moonsault on Jake.  Slash goes for the pin: 1…2…Jake just barely, and I mean barely, gets a shoulder up. Slash stands up and unwraps the barbed wire, ripping skin and shirt alike.  Looking to finish him off, Slash picks Jake up, and sets up for a piledriver.  Out of desperation, Jackson is able to counter by pulling Slash’s legs out from under him and slingshotting him into the corner; unfortunately for Slash, he crashes face first into the trashcan he put there earlier. Jake whips Slash off towards the opposite corner, he then grabs a chair and raises it above his head.  Jake runs into the corner and almost takes Slash’s head off with a vicious running chair shot.  He goes forthe pin, the ref counts the 3 and Jackson gets the win and the title.

Winner & New Hardcore Champion: Jake Jackson via Running Chair Shot

Johnson: 6 days strong, the GuR still stands.  The revolution continues, and tonight we take another piece out of this federation by destroying the two of the top wrestlers in my federation.  That's right, Pope and Gold, you guys don't stand a chance with Coke.

Coke: That's right, you two jackass's don't can't even match up to the mind of Coke, let alone the body strength of my physique.  I truly am the top of the top when it comes to complete, total packages.

Johnson: So people of the audience, what do you think of me now? *the crowd boos*.  Just wait till this fed is called the GuRWF, then, you guys will no "WHO's YOUR DADDY"

Coke: Pope, Gold, you two will fallow the path of Parker and leave this fed cause your scared of me.

Stevens: Johnson, Coke, you guys talk to damn much. *the crowd cheers* Tonight, I could care less the outcome, it's going to be a great match.  I've come here to offer a challenge.  This coming PPV, St. Valentines Judgement Day, the main event will consist of JB Rokk, Tommy Dillinger, and Ryan Coke, against Kyle Pope, Steve Carter, and a mystery wrestler.

Stevens: And to make things even tonight, only Coke is allowed to be around ringside tonight.  If any of your GuR goons come down to the ring, step through that curtain, Coke is eliminated.  Got it.

Johnson: Shut up...