December 18th 2000
The scene opens with Tim and Tod Brigman sitting on stools in front of the camera.  The show is announced as such "THE BRIGMAN REPORT - With Tim and Tod Brigman."  At the same time, the two smile.  The show starts and there is absolute silence, and yes, it last for about 30 seconds.

Tod: Eh..Eh...Tim Eh...Eh..., your first, don't you have something to say?

Tim: ...30 seconds later...ok, yah, right, on with the show.  It seems as if The Natural has found himself a partner to fight the crime that lays in the UWA...he is rumored to start acting a lot like Dick Tracy and wear a yellow coat to the ring...

Tod: Eh..Eh..No he's not, eh...

Tim: To continue, his new sidekick, Stealth Carter, once known as The Duck, is looked to be pushed as a North American Title hopeful.  His first task, to get Dillingham to put the hotdog down...will he be able to, only time will tell...

Tod: Eh...let me see that...*grabs the paper from Tim* eh...just as I though, you where eh...making it all up...from now on, I'm doing the report.

Tim:*grabs the paper back, and as usual, ...30 seconds later* This just in, Tod and Tim Brigman will square off this Saturday to decide if Tim should leave the show...my money is on Tim making Tod his bitch...

Tod: Eh..Eh...you can't say that on the air, and stick to the script...

Tim: What script...

Tod: The one in your hand...

Tim: This piece of paper?

Tod: Yes.

Tim: It's blank...

Tod: No it's not.

Tim:*30 seconds later* Ok....

Tod: Shut up, our next part of our report is on Tommy Dillinger.  After finding out that he had been fired, he had some choice words.  Here a special treat from me to you eh....eh...

Dillinger: The saying may be UWA 4 Life, but it's Tommy Dillinger is 4 Ever...which then makes Tommy Dillinger the UWA...   Stevens thinks that he can just throw someone out of a job without thinking of retribution.  I may not have made the UWA, but I damn well made it to where it is today.  This is the worst decision that Stevens, and the entire UWA will has ever made.  Stevens should reconsider his actions, because the UWA is nothing now without Tommy Dillinger.  Will I be back in the UWA, your damn right I will, as soon as there is new management in the front office.  Dillinger 4 EVER

Tim:*Interupting* Dillinger is also rumored to be starring in Dolimite 2001 - where he gets to beat down Crime, and abuse his bitches...

Tod: Eh...again Tim, stop eh...saying those words on T.V.

Tim: What words, Crime, or rumor?

Tod: Eh..No

Tim: Then what words are you talking about?

Tod: Bitch!!!!!

Tim: How can you expect me to stop saying it, when you say it?

Tod: Just stop ok...EH!

Tim: *30 seconds later*...ok

Tod: Eh...to continue, Jake Jackson is rumored to be adding some arsenal to his wrestling skills by adding a new Finisher...what is it, you'll find out soon

Tim: And this just in,*30 seconds later* If your cab doesn't stink, you shouldn't be driving a cab...

Tod: What the hell was that about?

Tim: I think it was a clear statement

Tod: Eh..well, stop it, and let me eh..continue...To commence, Jackson will also be pushed as a baby face in this fed...all heels watch out...

Tim: Watch out for what?  *30 seconds later*  Jackson couldn't fight himself out of a cold!

Tod: Eh..anyways, to conclude our broadcast...Johnny eh...Crunch eh... has found out some eh... disturbing news...it seems that he found  out that eh... Godfather Gold...paid off one Mel Gibson to pretend he was eh...William Wallace, just so Crunch could perform as he usually does...Crunch is, eh... depressed  at the moment, and wanted to be eh..left alone...eh...we should have a better report on this soon...

Tim: And finally, this just in *30 seconds later* Tod Brigman, co host of The Brigman Report with Tim"The Man" Brigman, and Tod"I'm a Dink" Brigman, will now be known just as Dink Brigman...

Tod: Eh...shut it Tim...and that concludes our show...for Tim Brigman, and myself Tod

Tim: Dink

Tod: Brigman, we are signing off, goodnight.